Bigbifquill is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest aardvark.

Bigbifquill created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigbifquill, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bigbifquill, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bigbifquill's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bigbifquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Never jump near ducks.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not eat bread.