Dinlapbap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless hydra.

Dinlapbap created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinlapbap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dinlapbap, it will jump up and down on your head.

Dinlapbap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dinlapbap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dinlapbap first in all things.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.