Dudloopfet is a god.

She takes the form of a large, grumpy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dudloopfet created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudloopfet, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dudloopfet, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dudloopfet's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dudloopfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Do not keep three cats in a large pit.

5. Always pray immersed in water.