Jipcemdud is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, vain bird.

Jipcemdud created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipcemdud, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jipcemdud, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jipcemdud's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jipcemdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Jipcemdud in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Do not speak about wheat.