Hatmifrap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy cobra.

Hatmifrap created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatmifrap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hatmifrap, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hatmifrap's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hatmifrap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hatmifrap.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Run away if nine horses approach from the east.

4. Put Hatmifrap first in all things.

5. Do not kill whales.