Hottofdap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, pitiless otter.

Hottofdap created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hottofdap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hottofdap, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Hottofdap's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hottofdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing yellow stockings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not hurt whales.