Liplagcud is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, generous lizard.

Liplagcud created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Liplagcud, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Liplagcud, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Liplagcud's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Liplagcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to horses while wearing stockings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Liplagcud loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Liplagcud in the centre of the settlement.