Flabcumkab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, competent swan.

Flabcumkab created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Flabcumkab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flabcumkab, he will torture you forever.

Flabcumkab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Flabcumkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Never run in the presence of turtles.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Do not hurt snakes.