Rutjarndutflis is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, clever walrus.

Rutjarndutflis created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rutjarndutflis, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rutjarndutflis, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Rutjarndutflis' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Rutjarndutflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt foxes.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Rutjarndutflis loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not keep six aardvarks in a large pit.