Vinfig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witless mole.

Vinfig created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinfig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vinfig, it will torture you forever.

Vinfig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Vinfig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

5. Do not hurt moths.