Zogbesttam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful swan.

Zogbesttam created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogbesttam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zogbesttam, he will turn you into a mole.

Zogbesttam's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Zogbesttam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Zogbesttam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.