Beg is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awe-inspiring spider.

Beg created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Beg, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Beg, she will throw large rocks at you.

Beg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Beg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Always help sick mites.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Always help horses in need.