Sabmaphambudbom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, kind turtle.

Sabmaphambudbom created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabmaphambudbom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sabmaphambudbom, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sabmaphambudbom's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sabmaphambudbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help tortoises.

5. Do not make images of living things.