Fatbigpak is a god.

It takes the form of a small, merciful tapir.

Fatbigpak created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatbigpak, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fatbigpak, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fatbigpak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fatbigpak's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think ill of sick doves.

3. Never paint your legs violet.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fatbigpak.

5. Never pour water over plants.