Ontbingod is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured gorilla.

Ontbingod created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ontbingod, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ontbingod, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Ontbingod's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ontbingod's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat frogs with great respect.

2. Retreat if seven rats approach from the east.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.