Pitmonjat Fudpigvin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental otter.

Pitmonjat Fudpigvin created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Pitmonjat Fudpigvin, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pitmonjat Fudpigvin, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Pitmonjat Fudpigvin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Pitmonjat Fudpigvin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pitmonjat Fudpigvin three times a day.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

3. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing black skirts and balancing six lead spheres on your chest.