Kip Yokbumhap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical hydra.

Kip Yokbumhap created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Kip Yokbumhap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kip Yokbumhap, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kip Yokbumhap's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kip Yokbumhap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never sing in the presence of horses.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Run away from magenta hamsters, for they are unholy.