Fetsabtabrat is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, capable dugong.

Fetsabtabrat created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetsabtabrat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetsabtabrat, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fetsabtabrat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Fetsabtabrat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near squirrels while wearing indigo skirts and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.

3. Never feed parsnips to aardvarks while wearing mauve boots.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. Worship no other gods but Fetsabtabrat.