Carran Dantallag is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy walrus.

Carran Dantallag created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Carran Dantallag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Carran Dantallag, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Carran Dantallag's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Carran Dantallag's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.