Mutfagvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, intelligent camel.

Mutfagvonk created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutfagvonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mutfagvonk, it will be very sad.

Mutfagvonk's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Mutfagvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Worship no other gods but Mutfagvonk.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.