Arfhadnurt is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able duck.

Arfhadnurt created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfhadnurt, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Arfhadnurt, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arfhadnurt's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Arfhadnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to doves while wearing shorts.

2. Do not kill geese.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Arfhadnurt on top of important buildings.

5. Never wear jumpers.