Tannad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent spider.

Tannad created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Tannad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tannad, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tannad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tannad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always obey Tannad's priests.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near otters while wearing mauve hats.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tannad.