Hotxucksad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, irritating wren.

Hotxucksad created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotxucksad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hotxucksad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hotxucksad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Hotxucksad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.