Hamnarlkim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish deer.

Hamnarlkim created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamnarlkim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hamnarlkim, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hamnarlkim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hamnarlkim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.