Bap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fast rat.

Bap created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bap, she will turn you into a goat.

Bap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never paint your face blue.