Fidtenquart is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unsympathetic lobster.

Fidtenquart created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidtenquart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fidtenquart, it will strike you with lightening.

Fidtenquart's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fidtenquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. You must love Fidtenquart.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fidtenquart.

5. Never eat cucumbers.