Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, witty wolf.

Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Gudtafpad Bidbarnhub in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.