Figmigbaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unselfish weasel.

Figmigbaf created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figmigbaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figmigbaf, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Figmigbaf's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Figmigbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. Always stare at clouds.