Gepmetjen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, vain octopus.

Gepmetjen created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepmetjen, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gepmetjen, she will not invite you to parties.

Gepmetjen's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gepmetjen's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gepmetjen five times a day.

2. Run away if four squirrels approach from the north.

3. Gepmetjen loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gepmetjen.