Jipbenpom is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, annoying wren.

Jipbenpom created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipbenpom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jipbenpom, he will turn you into a goat.

Jipbenpom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jipbenpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt bats.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Jipbenpom in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not shave your feet.