Bimgongat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fussy deer.

Bimgongat created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bimgongat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bimgongat, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bimgongat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bimgongat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Bimgongat must be the most important thing in your life.