Cabxucpod is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying pig.

Cabxucpod created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabxucpod, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cabxucpod, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cabxucpod's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Cabxucpod's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Run away if three doves approach from the east.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never think ill of sick moths.