Titfigfag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unjust capybara.

Titfigfag created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titfigfag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Titfigfag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Titfigfag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Titfigfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always stare at clouds.