Ingarfwip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating mongoose.

Ingarfwip created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Ingarfwip, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ingarfwip, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ingarfwip's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Ingarfwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Never think about special relativity near dogs while wearing brown corsets and balancing six titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about optics near squirrels while wearing orange shoes.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.