Sidzakfut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, prudent armadillo.

Sidzakfut created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidzakfut, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidzakfut, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sidzakfut's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sidzakfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Never hurt manatees.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not bounce in public.