Bagdavvonkmittomlit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid elephant.

Bagdavvonkmittomlit created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagdavvonkmittomlit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bagdavvonkmittomlit, he will turn you into a frog.

Bagdavvonkmittomlit's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bagdavvonkmittomlit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Bagdavvonkmittomlit on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bagdavvonkmittomlit.