Laptifrull is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty wren.

Laptifrull created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Laptifrull, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Laptifrull, he will refuse to believe in you.

Laptifrull's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Laptifrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Never talk about gravity near horses while wearing black shoes and balancing nine gold spheres on your legs.