Bapfidfas Vensawfot is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, emotional snake.

Bapfidfas Vensawfot created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfidfas Vensawfot, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bapfidfas Vensawfot, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bapfidfas Vensawfot's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bapfidfas Vensawfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Feed all hungry birds.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.