Parkstafsab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty hyena.

Parkstafsab created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkstafsab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parkstafsab, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Parkstafsab's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Parkstafsab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parkstafsab.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Run away if eight bats approach from the south.

5. Hide if five capybaras approach from the north.