Loopvedjad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable gorilla.

Loopvedjad created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopvedjad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Loopvedjad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Loopvedjad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Loopvedjad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect five carbon sculptures of Loopvedjad on top of important buildings.

4. Never paint your arms purple.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.