Omtvag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless jackal.

Omtvag created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Omtvag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Omtvag, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Omtvag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Omtvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Omtvag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always pray immersed in water.