Vonktunteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unthoughtful mole.

Vonktunteen created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonktunteen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vonktunteen, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vonktunteen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Vonktunteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near snails while wearing cyan coats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your arms turquoise.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.