Lenpopfom is a god.

He takes the form of a small, slow cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lenpopfom created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenpopfom, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lenpopfom, he will curse you with boils.

Lenpopfom's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lenpopfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near manatees while wearing fawn trousers.

2. Always help sick rats.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.