Tunyakgut Bestnurgun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, kind ant.

Tunyakgut Bestnurgun created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunyakgut Bestnurgun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tunyakgut Bestnurgun, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tunyakgut Bestnurgun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tunyakgut Bestnurgun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow ants for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tunyakgut Bestnurgun.

3. Tunyakgut Bestnurgun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near cats while wearing mauve tights.

5. Never talk about nebulae.