Gubvenveen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional lobster.

Gubvenveen created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubvenveen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gubvenveen, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gubvenveen's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gubvenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Gubvenveen's priests.

2. Worship no other gods but Gubvenveen.

3. Never paint your arms indigo.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never write about stars.