Nartcemdim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing turtle.

Nartcemdim created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Nartcemdim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nartcemdim, he will turn you into a rock.

Nartcemdim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Nartcemdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. You must love Nartcemdim.