Kapfasgid is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, fussy tapir.

Kapfasgid created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapfasgid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kapfasgid, he will turn you into a rock.

Kapfasgid's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kapfasgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Never eat cherries.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not covet oxen.