Gudxinran is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented squirrel.

Gudxinran created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudxinran, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gudxinran, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gudxinran's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gudxinran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Do not keep four geese in a large pit.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Do not make images of living things.