Laptigfag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sapient goblin.

Laptigfag created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Laptigfag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Laptigfag, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Laptigfag's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Laptigfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.