Cidlunpin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy otter.

Cidlunpin created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidlunpin, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cidlunpin, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cidlunpin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cidlunpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cidlunpin.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. You must never eat strawberries.